I was a conman in the Ming Dynasty.

Chapter 8 Cheers to Xianxu

Chapter 8 Cheers to Xianxu

"Take responsibility?" Wang Wenzhou smiled wryly. Take responsibility for what? I haven't even taken my pants off yet! And I'm already being asked to take responsibility? What kind of nonsense is this! Wang Wenzhou glanced at Zhang Jiao. By today's standards, Zhang Jiao was definitely a beauty. The only flaw was that her breasts were a little bit small.

"Son-in-law! Of course you have to take responsibility! I saw it clearly just now, in broad daylight, in front of everyone, you touched my Jiaojiao. If you don't take responsibility for marrying Jiaojiao, how will she get married in the future!" Old Zhang said firmly.

Although Zhang Jiao is beautiful, we can't just get married like this! Marrying such a violent girl as a wife, how can we even enter the whole forest? This won't do. Wang Wenzhou quickly declined, saying, "Grandpa, it's not that I don't want to take responsibility! It's just that my father has already arranged a marriage for me since I was a child."

"I see!" Old Zhang frowned, thought for a moment and said, "My dear son-in-law, you can have my granddaughter as your concubine."

Upon hearing this, Li Hechen could no longer sit still.

"Grandpa! Let me take responsibility for Jiaojiao! I held her when she was six. Let Jiaojiao marry me!" Li Hechen hurriedly recounted his mistakes from his youth to Old Zhang, patting his chest and promising to take the blame.

"Get lost! Who needs you to take responsibility?" Old Zhang patted Wang Wenzhou on the shoulder and laughed, "My dear son-in-law, don't mind it. That's just children playing house. Li Hechen is a toad trying to eat swan meat. My Jiaojiao would rather marry a pig than him."

"Grandpa, are you crazy? He's not the magistrate, he's just Lord Wang's cousin!" Li Hechen's eyes widened, he was very agitated, and his voice was trembling with tears.

"Hmph! Li Hechen! I'm not one to curry favor with the powerful! I just like you, young master. Besides, you've ruined my darling's reputation, so you should take responsibility!" Old Zhang snorted and said irritably.

Just a quick brush, and he gets a wife? Wang Wenzhou isn't stupid; there's definitely something fishy going on. This old man is no pushover; he'd better get out of here.

"Cough cough..."

Wang Wenzhou coughed a few times, wiped his drool, and winked at Li Hechen, meaning, "You have to help me, otherwise my wife will be mine." "Grandpa, you've had too much to drink today. I have some things to do, so I'll be leaving now. Brother Li, let's get together another day."

“Yes, Grandpa, you’ve had too much to drink. He really has something to do, let him go first, I’ll have a few more drinks with you.” Li Hechen quickly chimed in.

Old Zhang secretly tightened his arm around Wang Wenzhou's shoulder, making it impossible for Wang Wenzhou to stand up.

"Jiaojiao, get those little brats Li Hechen out of here. If they don't leave, beat them out." Old Zhang turned around and ordered Zhang Jiao.

Li Hechen was dumbfounded, staring blankly at Old Zhang, completely bewildered. He was truly dumbfounded; what on earth was going on? Old Zhang hadn't drunk much today, so why was he spouting nonsense?

"Get out!" Zhang Jiao had lived with her grandfather since she was a child and always listened to Old Zhang. As soon as Old Zhang finished speaking, she grabbed Li Hechen's arm and chased him out.

"Jiaojiao, your grandfather has gone mad! He wants to marry you off to that fat pig as a concubine." Li Hechen looked at his goddess Zhang Jiao with deep affection, and said with a sob in his voice.

"What's it to you? I'd rather be his concubine than marry you! Get out!" Zhang Jiao said irritably.

"Bang!" Zhang Jiao kicked Li Hechen in the back, sending him flying.

Zhang Jiao was also a little angry. She felt that her grandfather must have lost his mind. That fat man was obviously a good-for-nothing, so why would her grandfather want her to be his concubine?

No sooner had Li Hechen been chased away than Old Zhang came on strong, slamming his fist on the table and roaring, "Lord Wang, you are the father of this county, you cannot do something that ruins the reputation of a respectable family. If you do not marry my granddaughter today, I will take her and kneel in front of the Hanshan County government office so that all the people of the county can see that you, Lord Wang, are a heartless man who ruins people's reputations."

Wang Wenzhou panicked. Everyone likes a date, but getting married right after a date? That's like something out of a horror movie. What's even more terrifying is that they haven't even made a date yet!

Wang Wenzhou wiped his drool, pointed at his nose, and asked, "Old man, take a good look at yourself. What do I have that makes me worthy of your granddaughter? Are you out of your mind? Let me tell you, even if I marry your granddaughter, I won't give you a single penny as a bride price!"

"Haha!" Old Zhang grinned and laughed: "My dear son-in-law, don't worry, I don't want a single penny of your dowry. I only have one granddaughter. Although I don't have much money, I do own a tavern, and I've saved up some dowry for Jiaojiao over the years."

"Grandpa! I'm not the magistrate, I'm a fraud!" When Wang Wenzhou's plan failed, he came up with another and quickly told the truth.

Old Zhang smiled slightly, patted Wang Wenzhou on the shoulder, and said with satisfaction, "I admire swindlers like Xianxu, and I want my granddaughter to marry a swindler."

"Grandpa, look at me, I'm as fat as a pig. And my face is as ugly as can be. If your granddaughter marries me, wouldn't that be like a beautiful flower stuck in cow dung?" Wang Wenzhou said, deliberately wiping his drool.

"My darling, she's really a beauty." Old Zhang turned to look at his beloved granddaughter and said in a deep voice, "My dear son-in-law, a beautiful flower needs cow dung to grow well! A flower only thrives when planted in cow dung."

"Haha..." Wang Qiang couldn't help but laugh. How could anyone be so eager to have his young master's good looks?

"Young master, why don't you just make the sacrifice and marry that girl? What you did just now was indeed a bit too much."

"Haha!" Old Zhang glanced at Wang Qiang and asked, "Wang Zhixin, who is Lord Wang?"

“My ancestor,” Wang Qiang replied.

Wang Wenzhou finally understood why the old man was so certain he was the county magistrate. It turned out the old man knew Wang Zhixin.

"Sigh!" Wang Wenzhou sighed, then switched to his sarcastic tone: "You old fool, you were just spouting nonsense about not currying favor with the powerful. If I weren't the county magistrate, would you be willing to give me your granddaughter as a concubine?"

"I'm willing!" Old Zhang said firmly.

"Is that so?" Wang Wenzhou sneered.

Old Zhang's eyes gleamed as he stared into Wang Wenzhou's eyes and said, word by word, "Because your surname is Wang!"

Wang Wenzhou pointed at Wang Qiang and sneered, "You old fool, Xiao Qiang also has the surname Wang. Why don't you marry your granddaughter to him? Look at our Xiao Qiang, he's both scholarly and martial, and a handsome young man!"

Wang Qiang curled his lip, glanced at Zhang Jiao, and said disdainfully, "I don't want to marry a tomboy!"

"What are you saying, my dear husband? The person I admire most is your grandfather, Wang Shouren. My daughter is destined to be with you, so please bear with it." Old Zhang smiled awkwardly.

Wang Wenzhou finally understood: this old man was actually a die-hard fan of Wang Shouren. The world of fans is truly incomprehensible.

"Um...Grandpa, I need to go to the outhouse." Wang Wenzhou prepared to use his "urination escape" technique.

Old Zhang seemed not to hear him, holding Wang Wenzhou down firmly with one hand to prevent him from moving, while filling his glass with wine, raising it, and saying, "My dear son-in-law, let's have another drink, you and I."

"I really need to go to the toilet!" Wang Wenzhou had drunk so much alcohol that he really needed to pee, and he felt like his bladder was about to burst.

"Sir, finish your drink before you go! I'm toasting you, you won't refuse me any face at all, will you?" Old Zhang insisted on forcing Wang Wenzhou to drink.

Wang Wenzhou had no choice but to pick up the wine bowl and drink it.

"You have a good capacity for alcohol, sir." Old Zhang filled his glass, put his arm around Wang Wenzhou's shoulder, and said affectionately, "I usually enjoy a drink too, but when I heard you say, sir, 'A man doesn't easily shed tears,' my eyes welled up with tears."

"Jiaojiao's father is unlucky. He won't live to see his daughter get married, or to see her marry such a talented man as her husband." As Old Zhang spoke, tears streamed down his face.

"Damn it!" Wang Wenzhou cursed inwardly. "That old bastard is just using alcohol as an excuse to vent his anger."

"My dear son-in-law, bottoms up!" Old Zhang said, then downed the drink in one gulp.

"Cheer it up!" Old Zhang pointed at Wang Wenzhou's wine bowl.

"Grandpa, I really can't drink anymore. I need to go to the outhouse first." Wang Wenzhou tried to stand up, but Old Zhang was too strong, and he couldn't stand up at all.

"Bang!" Old Zhang slammed his hand on the table, pointed at Jiao Jiao, and cried bitterly, "I know you despise my Jiao Jiao for not having parents. My Jiao Jiao has had a hard life since she was little!"

Despite his tears, Old Zhang's arm, which was holding Wang Wenzhou, remained firmly in place, pressing Wang Wenzhou down and preventing him from standing up.

Hearing Old Zhang's words, Zhang Jiao's eyes reddened, and she glared fiercely at Wang Wenzhou. "You fat, good-for-nothing pig! I didn't even mind your ugliness, yet you despise my background!"

Wang Wenzhou couldn't hold it in any longer; he felt like his bladder was about to explode. Between wetting himself in public and marrying a cheap wife, Wang Wenzhou chose the latter. After all, in ancient times, having multiple wives and concubines was nothing to fear.

"You old geezer, stop acting! I admit defeat, okay? Let me go to the outhouse first," Wang Wenzhou said angrily.

"Haha..." Old Zhang immediately laughed and said with a smile, "Jiaojiao, bring out the pen, ink, paper and inkstone, and let your husband write the marriage certificate."

Upon hearing this, Wang Qiang quickly tugged at Wang Wenzhou's sleeve and whispered, "Young Master, the marriage certificate can't be written! Marriage is a major event, it should be arranged by parents and matchmakers..."

Wang Wenzhou pouted and said aggrievedly, "Do you think I want to? If I don't write, I'll wet my pants!"