Spy Wars: Strong Agents Who Are Ruthless and Talk Little

Chapter 194 With a trace of powerlessness

As they searched, Su Ming appeared silently behind them, the dagger in his hand flashing with a cold light. A few seconds later, the alley returned to silence, with only two lifeless bodies lying on the ground.

Su Ming wiped the blood off the dagger and quickly left the scene. He knew that although he had temporarily escaped this crisis, the enemy would never let him go easily. He had to be more cautious in the next few days.

Traitor's Plot

Over the next few weeks, Su Ming continued to act according to his plan, but he was unable to find evidence to expose the traitor. The traitor was hiding very deeply, taking every step with extreme caution, as if he had already anticipated that someone would try to expose him.

At the same time, the hound's probing became more frequent. Su Ming could feel that the hound seemed to have noticed him.

Su Ming's steps were heavy, their pace a little unsteady. His mind kept flashing back to that nightmarish scene—the image of that innocent child lying in a pool of blood. It was a mistake during his mission, a slight error in judgment, that led to irreversible consequences. The child's eyes, filled with fear and helplessness, pierced Su Ming's heart like a sharp arrow. Su Ming was always known for his calm and self-possession, but this time, his heart was in turmoil, unable to calm down.

The night streets were silent. A cold wind blew across his face, bringing a biting chill. Su Ming wrapped his windbreaker tightly around him, as if it could ward off the chill within him. Although he had been in this world for years and had long since witnessed the separation of life and death, this time, he felt an unprecedented exhaustion and confusion.

"What is all this for?" Su Ming whispered to himself, his voice drifting into the night like an echo lost in the distance. His once-firm faith was now shaky. The goals he once fought for now seemed so distant and unfamiliar. He had once believed that as long as he persevered, he would eventually see the dawn of victory. But reality, time and again, dealt him a heavy blow.

Su Ming walked into a tavern and ordered a glass of whiskey. He needed alcohol to numb his nerves and temporarily calm his nagging thoughts. The bar was dimly lit, and the air was filled with the smell of stale tobacco. The patrons around him chatted in low voices, seemingly unconcerned with the world's disputes.

He picked up the glass and drank it in one gulp. The wine flowed down his throat like a burning sensation, allowing him to temporarily forget those painful memories. But after a moment of numbness, the doubts and self-blame that had been suppressed in his heart surged up again, like an uncontrollable tide.

Many familiar faces surfaced in Su Ming's mind. Those former comrades, those who had fought side by side on the battlefield, their smiles, their sacrifices, their hopes for the future, all flashed through his memory. But now, he could no longer firmly believe that everything he had done was truly worth it. Was what he was protecting still the ideal in his heart?

Just as Su Ming was immersed in his thoughts, a familiar voice interrupted his meditation. "Su Ming, why are you here?"

Su Ming looked up and saw Black Fox standing before him, her eyes filled with worry. Her presence surprised Su Ming, but it also slightly calmed his irritation. He looked into her eyes, those always alert and calm, now revealing a hint of tenderness.

"Black Fox..." Su Ming whispered, a hint of fatigue in his voice.

Black Fox sat down across from him and sighed softly. "I heard something unexpected happened during the mission."

Su Ming nodded and clenched the wine glass in his hand, as if it was the only thing he could hold on to. "Yes, I made a mistake..." When he said this, his voice was low and weak.

Black Fox looked at him, a complex expression in his eyes. "Su Ming, you can't put all the blame on yourself. This world is inherently full of uncertainty, and many things are beyond our control."

Su Ming gave a bitter smile. "But this sacrifice was truly too innocent. That child... he knew nothing, yet he paid the price with his life because of my mistake." His voice choked as he said this, the pain he'd suppressed deep within him finally giving way.

Black Fox silently watched him, a flicker of heartache in her eyes. She knew Su Ming had always been under immense pressure. As an undercover agent, he not only had to constantly face threats from the enemy, but also had to be constantly vigilant against enemies within his own ranks. This kind of life had already stretched his nerves too thin, and this mistake had finally become the final straw that broke his heart.

"Su Ming, sometimes, we can't change the outcome and can only accept it," Black Fox said softly, a hint of resignation in his tone. "But that doesn't mean everything you've done is meaningless. We've come this far, through so many ups and downs, not to prove anything, but to keep the faith in our hearts from being extinguished."

Su Ming was silent for a moment, then slowly put down his glass. He looked into Black Fox's eyes, those eyes filled with determination and conviction, as if reminding him that he had once been just like that. But now, his faith was like a candle in the wind, ready to go out at any moment.

"Faith..." Su Ming muttered to himself, as if trying to find that long-lost belief. "But, Black Fox, sometimes I'm really not sure if everything I do is truly meaningful."

Black Fox smiled slightly, a soft light flickering in his eyes. "Su Ming, what is your faith? Do you still remember?"

Su Ming froze, as if stumped by this simple question. What is faith? He had once thought he knew the answer, but now, he was at a loss. Those once unwavering ideals now seemed so illusory and distant under the blows of reality.

"I... I don't know." Su Ming said in a low voice, with a hint of powerlessness and confusion in his voice.

Black Fox gently held his hand, and the warm touch reassured Su Ming. "It's okay, Su Ming. Faith isn't always clear; sometimes it's just a ray of light that guides us forward. We can't predict the future, but as long as we don't lose ourselves, we'll eventually find our own faith."

Su Ming listened quietly, the fog in his heart seeming to dissipate slightly. He knew Black Fox was right; faith wasn't static; it could change with time and experience. But the important thing was that he couldn't abandon his original intention because of a single mistake, and he couldn't lose his way because of the confusion before him.